Recollecting the childhood

One of the bloggers whose blogs I regularly follow had written about her childhood which made me recollect my childhood memories. Sometimes when heart is filled with frustrations in the morning itself because of so many thoughts and actions of others such memories bring back the smile on my face.

Yes we had such a good time in our childhood.  I and my friends in the street would play on the streets in the evenings after our schools. We used to come back, pray to God and then study (though reluctantly), or rather do homework for the day.

Sundays (there was no concept of weekends that time) also filled with complete outdoor games near the temple. During night with indoor games (some of which are becoming extinct now).

Go to grandma’s place in summer holidays and enjoy all the privileges and also a whole lot of affection from grandparents.

Do not bother about exams/tests until they are near.

Have fun with cousins in family functions.

All these and at the same time having known the value of all the materialistic things we had. We used to get new clothes only for festivals.  So used to enjoy festivals with ‘new’ clothes and special food. Never used to have even Rs.5 in our pockets until we were in our graduation. There was no need of it either.

To get a bicycle in my high school day was a very big thing for me. I roamed around in my town streets with my new bicycle for the whole day. I still remember that day because I had got it after I was demanding it for rather 2 yrs.

Those were the days of fun also filled with learning’s of life. But we were contended with whatever we had in our small world.

We struggled so hard to get the things we have now. But are we really happy at the end of the day? There is always more for everything. There is no end to the needs.

So better to recollect childhood and be happy with the memories of it alone at-least for a day.

Female factor

Today morning while having breakfast I happen to read a news in newspaper which made me feel down for the day. Some people in northern states of India kill girl babies as soon as they are born by suffocating them by pillows or by putting jiggery balls in the mouth of the girl babies so that they choke and they die. It was heartening to come to know about such news in the morning and I was heavy hearted when I was walking to my office. My heart really poured for those kids, what was wrong with those new babies for not to live a life in this world.

Wikipedia lists a recent report by the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) up to 50 million girls and women are missing in India's population as a result of systematic sex discrimination. The issue of female infanticide is  a big problem in India than in any other country. In rest of the world, sex of the child is disclosed before the delivery itself. In India I wonder that kind of culture can come into place in the near future given the obsession the society has for baby boys. Not only men, but even women (both educated and illiterate) in India want to have baby boys.  The worst situation is when these abortions are carried out well beyond the safe period of 12 weeks endangering the women’s life.

I saw some reports on this problem in the internet and one such analysis can be found at : http://www.sascv.org/ijcjs/snehlata.pdf

In rural India the female infanticide is very high and I would completely blame the society for this social problem. The system in the society is so tightly coupled for rules for women, some people cannot afford to lead a life in such a system and they take such extreme steps.

Few points I have listed which are the fueling factors as per my understanding starting from 1 to  5 with 1 being the highest.

1.      Girls have to go to someone else’s house after bringing them up, educating them and loving them and carry their names. J

2.      Girls cannot take care of their parents in their old age and perform rituals of after death.

3.      The expenses of marriage is high and in many states and castes the problem of dowry is well prevailing and the cost of dowry will be usually the complete earnings of life of her parents (Sometimes even selling off their properties).

4.      Girls do not carry forward the legacy of their families and the family names.

5.      Girls are having problems driven by nature for the cause of reproduction which they have to go through throughout their lives and bear the pains of labors.

There could be many other valid and serious reasons still. But what I could derive from the news and the way the system in society works.

I do not want to debate much on the issues of family names, legacy, taking care of parents and all that. Nobody remembers my name after my 2^nd generation. At most my grandchildren may remember my name because I do not remember my great grand parents’ names!. Finally what is in a name? And why one has to change their birth names and why cannot men also change when society asks women to change their names? It’s out of love and affection you want your spouse’s name with yours and not by force.

Taking care of parents should be left to girls/boys conscience. It’s their duty and love which should drive them to do that. No excuses based on gender.
Everyone knows that dowry system is also a big social issue and no rational thinking person agrees with such a system.

When a man wants a woman for giving birth to him and a girl to get married, at-least two women are needed there itself. But if he does not want a daughter then he is denying two people in another man’s life. A woman is needed as mother and wife, why not as a daughter?  Statistics show that there are 914 women for every 1000 men in India. A big gap in the gender count.

I am not a revolutionist to bring a change in society or an influential person to change the system. But I definitely want some of my blog readers to give thoughts on this issue and spread awareness.

Signing off for now,

Ranjani

Relational thinking

It has been a while since I blogged. Many thoughts crossed my mind which could have been blogged
but could not put the feeling/thoughts in words. Today my mind is running too much about relationships and peoples’ thoughts.

People are bonded in this world because of relationships with their loving ones and for some obvious reasons with not so loving ones.  Loving ones by nature are parents, spouse, kids, siblings or sometimes some friends too. The human relationships are complex to understand as the time passes by in one’s life. The equations with ones’ loved ones keep changing with respect to situation/emotional bonding/geographical placements/connectivity etc..
By birth we will be in love with our parents and as we grow up we choose to love a person and marry or rather live-with that person. After kids, they mean the world to us. Siblings will part ways at some point in the middle once they choose their path of life of their own and on their own. But as we grow mature (I do not say as we grow old because by growing old alone we may not be mature enough) our view towards life and towards the relationships vary and may become broadened and we start accepting all kinds of people with different kinds of nature.

People irritate us or hurt us at home, at office, at public places etc. by their words or actions. Initial days we will be cribbing about everything but as we grow day by day we start accepting people and situations as they are. Instead of reacting we start acting. (I do not say all will do that). One must make sincere attempts to do that. Because we cannot change the system or people around us. We can only try to make a change to ourselves to handle situations or people.  It’s not so easy as said or written. Our in-built and by –birth qualities are so much embedded to accept or react to people who are very much different from us. In-fact our own parents will be very much different from us.  We just think we are perfect in every sense but that may not be true for all others out there in the world like how we feel about others.

One fact is definitely true and that is everyone will hurt us some or the other way. We have to first love ourselves as we are and not do de-motivate ourselves as a bad person based on some triggered situations in our lives.  This is the way we are and people may or may not accept us for the kind of persons we are.  For people who love you, we need not convince that what kind of person we are because they already love you and believe you. For people who do not love/like us, for them also we need not convince about us because anyway they will not love us or believe us.

So love yourselves and be happy. It’s your soul which comes along with you forever even in life and after life. Leave rest of the things to God. He will take care of everything.

So no need of worrying about relations problems when one is with himself/herself completely.

To be in solitude for sometime,

Ranjani for myself J