2011 - Hinnota (A view back)

  As we are at the end of this year, i was thinking what and all i did in this year and what were the major milestones of the year. To be frank there are no major milestones in my life this year personally and  we just enjoyed being with Eshaan and watching him grow in this year has been a true delight. It seems kids are needed not just like bringing up a plant and expecting fruits at the end. They are needed for just the sake of happiness that is in store for us and enjoy them during the course of their upbringing.  The statement is very TRUE.
  One thing i would definitely remember would be that one more bundle of happiness came to our lives. That is my sis gave birth to a baby boy and whenever i visit my hometown i just enjoy having him on my lap. Its such a divine experience feeling once again in a span of 2 years since Eshaan was born.

Apart from that the year just went by.

But I really like this last week of the year. Bangalore roads will be less crowded and everywhere holiday mood will be set.

Somehow i do not get thrilled by New year or celebrations. My joy would be all my old friends/friends and also my cousins send messages or wish us and i feel happy that they remember me and that brings smile on my face by receiving messages unexpectedly. We just remember everyone and also send wishes to them and that itself brings lot of happiness to begin a year.
2012 is starting on a sunday. Can be with my family for the whole day!

Anyway as we pass this year and the end of the year has come. Wish you all forget sour memories, leave the baggage for this year on 31st Dec back and step into new year by cherishing fond memories.

Have happy holidays! Have fun!

For Women

Today while having lunch an interesting topic came up while discussing some marriage related/girl child related expenses.

All in our lunch group are women. So most of the times our views match. But I would rather say that most of the women except some women (who do not know the value of womanhood or women’s values),  agree with our views whatever we discussed today.

Everyone was wondering why women’s side should bear the majority of the marriage expenses? Its not just that the society demands from the people who have money. It’s also from the people who are not doing so good financially. No exemption or support the society gives them too.

I am not finding any good reason why a girl’s father should spend money on the marriage so heavily or even pay dowry just because they have given birth to a girl child. This means that having a girl child is a big sin and one has to pay for that. The process is deep-rooted in our system  since ages.

A big rationale is that in earlier days women were married off in their early ages and the guys side have to take the complete responsibility of ‘looking after’ the girl throughout her life. But was she not supposed to do house hold work, bear children, bring them up which is equally challenging like men working outside? Anyway a couple in a marriage are like two wheels of a chariot. If it has to run then both have to work. Then where does the matter of ‘looking after’ the girl comes up? Then why a girl’s father had to pay the expenses or dowry that time too? It’s just to put down women – some irrational rules made by only men who lack wisdom.

The same legacy is carried over even in today’s society. Even though the girl earns in lakhs, her father has to bear the expenses, post-marriage the girl’s father will not get a penny of her earnings even-though he had equally educated her like how his son-in-law is educated bearing the same or sometimes more expenses.

Why this kind of  a mindless system exists, I really do not know. These days it has still increased instead of decreasing, The girls side have to take care of first baby’s expenses?! – hospital, first five months, then naming ceremony expenses etc,. Idealogically why they have have to bear someone’s else child’s expenses. They say a girl belongs to boy’s family once married. They want to get their names changed, their kids names as per their family names. But they are not ready to spend even a penny for that. What a great system!

Earlier days if anyone has boys then the boys at-least used to get financial assistance to make his property. That at-least would have compensated whatever girls have spent. But now how many are willing to get their kids settled like that?

To change such a deep-rooted system is not going to happen in just one or two generations. Generations of men, yes I mean MEN have to be taught explicity to not go for such things in their education. It’s the women in every house who should take such initiatives. Because often it’s the women who cultivate such secondary status of women in their kids. Both girls or boys have to be taught to be treated and treat girls respectively.

Women also have that state of mind inculcated in their minds since childhood that she has to adjust to husband by listening to him and all such. Agreed, in case-of marriage adjustments is the key thing. But it should not be like you always have a secondary status.

If all these are discussed or raised by a woman I know she will be tagged as non-adjusting or arrogant or not brought up properly or revolutionary kind. But I feel most of the women feel the same and many may not express or they do not have the forum to express such things.  Girls get frustrated and nag their men because of this, what else can they do?

Not just women, even many men feel the same but they are also helpless in a system like this. They cannot talk against family or society. But at-least some men have such changing thoughts which I really appreciate.

 Yes these are revolutionary thoughts because its about talking against the current system or trying to think of some change in the systems. Some revolutions has to happen definitely which will curb female infanticides/foeticides. Because these are the keys factors related to expenses which is driving such extreme measures towards new-born girl-children.

I would only call upon the next-Gen people to take up such aspects seriously so that generations will become good and get benefited.

With Best wishes It's TVR..

A word of appreciation

What would it take to appreciate others instead of appreciating themselves and their own people or rather their own things? I have tried many times to appreciate others, their people or their things (Believe me, it’s hard I know) and it takes a lot of letting things off of your own to do that unless the other person/thing is someone or something who/it is really great  or out of the world.

To satisfy some people, one needs to bring the whole world of his/hers and do ‘N’ number of things before they pat your back. Then finally you feel why should you do all these things? What happens if he/she does not appreciate you/your people instead keep appreciating themselves for small reasons!

Definitely nothing. I would not lose anything. But it’s the human nature to expect something from others. It’s not so easy as saying that one should not expect anything from anyone. Its very tough to practice it. If we practice it fully then we’ll become a Yogi in this world and will be out of the world and feel like as if we have lost everything or given off everything to someone else.

Am I not sounding correct here?

We appreciate nature, we appreciate some great people who have done much to country or society, we appreciate some colleagues, by default we will be appreciating our own people so much but we fail to appreciate people who would have done so much to us/doing so much to us or even spending so much money on us! Its required. Yes, definitely its required. If we do it we feel so happy about ourselves.

Always appreciating others take a lot of out of us. We just have to let go some of our egos and should not compare ourselves with others and think that we are great in every sense – in following cleanliness, doing right things, doing any work, in performances, doing selections, their family, anything for that matter.  Instead of putting down others which in-turn may not put down the people whom we want to put down, but it will put-down us, it’s better to be silent.

Appreciation is a key word in every person’s life. It boosts the energy of the appreciator as well as the one who gets appreciated and fills positivity in air and in-turn you may get the same.

But no one cares if you are miserable because of this. So better don’t care and be happy at the end of the day!

With Best wishes It's TVR..

Small but true happiness’s

·         My son comes running and hugs me after my daylong work… the happiness is unexplainable..

·         Sunil smiles at me with some admiration for a small task well done

·         Sunil smears my head with his hand when I am too tired, in depth I feel very happy

·         My son looks at me after a kiss of mine as if asking for one more!

·         Chatting (Absolutely no gossiping) with my father and sister for long hours

·         Eating akki rotti made by mom

·         Sleeping in our small room alone muddling a rug in our house at Tumkur and forgetting rest of the world

·         Some dish which turns out well and my in-laws admire it, feel  day’s work is fulfilling in feeding everyone

·         A drive on Bangalore road on a calm and non-rush day

·         Visiting my grandma’s place

·         Watching an old kannada movie without advertisements

·         Listening to my favourite kannada songs and hindi songs on FM

·         Doing small poojas at home (Like yesterday at home)

·         Reading some interesting books (I absolutely love this).. so much out-of the world experience it gives

·         Telling small bhajans in my free time

·         Eating ice-creams un-expectedly with friends

·         Smell of soil after first rain

·         Unexpected call from my old friends/relatives when I am sick or on my birthday

·         Seeing sunset on terrace..

·         And many more… will post whenever I recall..

All this come without money and how much ever money is given, it does not match this kind of happiness.

Until then may you all have your true happinesses

With Best wishes It's TVR..

A flow

Today some random feelings are coming to my mind. For the first time I am feeling all alone in my thoughts and feeling a sense of independence in being lonely.

1.        What if there was no parent-child relationship?

2.       What if there was no concept of marriage?

3.       What if there was no concept of work life?

4.       What if there was no concept of money?

5.       What if there was no concept of God?

Many such things which keep us bonded or grounded on this earth. These are the concepts by which we are bounded hard in our lives and for which we give at-most importance. Sometimes beyond our limits and invoke  sorrow or happiness.

A person can do to others up-to a limit of his/hers. Then its up-to the society or people connected with him/her to acknowledge it.

1.      Beyond a point you cannot take responsibility for your parents/spouse happiness. Your parents are adults. They have made their choices. Yes, they have given birth to you, raised you provided you with everything , but that does not mean you can fix every single thing in their lives and keep them happy always. That is truly okay. It is they themselves who are responsible for their happiness or snappiness :P. (you can do what you can and rest one has to let go).
you are married to your spouse. That does not mean that you have to keep him/her happy always (That is impossible too). You do your duties and leave the rest to situations. They too are adults and should be able to judge everything with common sense and with a sense of belongingness to one-another.

2.      Work-life, money – these has to be handled carefully and intellectually. There is no need of any heart-felt feelings for this unless one has a passion towards the work he/she is doing.

3.      God – a big ‘?’. Needed in our uttermost sorrow but not in our uttermost happiness. Only when we come out of a big-shock, we thank God. He is still a concept, a power and a source to rely on in our darkness when no one else can give answers. He lives within us and not outside. He says to us what to be done or not to be done. Most of the times to push ourselves to lead lives despite having problems. I would say He is in the form of our kids.

Bye for now.. otherwise thoughts just keep coming and there cannot be any big full-stop…

TVR.

Power of expression

Yesterday I was watching a very popular quiz program which comes on DD, in which the anchor who is also a doctor was explaining about how every human being must have a means of expressing his/her emotions, dilemmas, confusions, decision making conflicts within oneself..etc. One has to find a means of expressing oneself. It can be by writing dairies, blogs or writing poems, stories, novels etc. Often talking to friends, siblings and sometimes to their spouses.

One definitely needs a channel or a means of expressing one’s thoughts. Otherwise it will lead to emotional trauma and result in behavioral imbalances. One of the books he was presenting (which he usually does in every episode of the program), the writer has written about modern day means of expressing thoughts.

The author mentions about the importance of expressing oneself to others or by any means. If a person does not have a close friend or a sibling with whom he/she can express, at-least the thoughts should come out in some other means of communication. Either by writing dairies, literature or whatever. Even some counseling centers mention that whenever you feel hopeless, one should just scribble something on a sheet of paper about his/her thoughts of distress/disgust/hopelessness/helplessness. It actually helps one to get relieved of those thoughts temporarily. Many of the suicidal cases are resolved by adopting this method by people suffering from depression. Definitely a man needs another man to express themselves and get some console. But this world is not ideal enough with people having listening ears and people who empathize. If one has to handle himself/herself then choosing different ways of expression which are more comfortable to themselves and by not becoming a headache to others.

Just try out different methods of expression. There can be ‘N’ number of ways to do it. If you people know any other methods like indulging oneself in hobbies (like reading, art-work, doing bhajans etc) and which have given you a great relief from day-to-day miseries/hurts, then let me also know your experiences. Having different ways of expression will empower us to lead an emotionally independent and a dignified life or I hope so.

With Best wishes It's TVR..

Pressure Cooker

Yes, under pressure people perform more and people perform faster. That is how the items in a pressure cooker get cooked so fast and complete. But think about the water being pressurized. It gets steamed and will be inside the cooker to come out.

That is how the life has become in the urban areas where both man and woman in a family work to meet the demands of the family. Added to that, kids also have to go through the pressure of going to a day care at a small age in the families where there is no other support to parents.

Cannot get up early in the morning because of previous day’s exhaustiveness and start doing things in a hurry. Cook, get the kid ready, cook, pack, travel, reach office, handle N number of things under pressure once again by boss, come back home, and cook, wash, clean and then sleep. No time to spend with our beloved kids. We would have to spend time with people whom we do not love or adore. But now there is no time to spend with our kids who are born to us with blessings.

In the midst of all these handle family pressures and expectations. How much ever people achieve professionally, or even earn in lakhs for their own families, one has to satisfy family expectations by proving their culinary skills, adjustment skills etc., etc, etc.. After all these struggle whatever we earn or do a property out of it, we can’t even claim its ours. All other stakeholders come to picture. Added emotional pressure.

Finally we want at-least our kids to admire whatever we did by struggle. But I have seen in real life that parents who would have taken their kids for granted and not sacrificed even an inch of their comfort and happiness get all the limelight, care and love back compared to parents who would have struggled all their lives and sacrifice only for the sake of their kids. I have seen such parents only get negligence and they are taken for granted.

Strange are the ways of life. What for we are earning and living a life as if we are in a pressure cooker steamed and trying to come out of it. When that time comes God only knows. But why God wants to play such a game with us being pawns to him. He must be transparent in his ways of execution too. Why should we go through all these?! Finally, to get some health problems at a very early age.

Is this kind of life worth living? Where there is no time for our passion, hobbies, and interests. But only have time to earn money.  Somewhere line has to be drawn to the limits of earning and concentrate on our interests. At-least to make our health better which is of utmost priority in life. If anything else is gone, we can regain. But if health is gone and a life is gone then we cannot regain.

Instead of being like a water in pressure cooker we want to be like water in river flow (Not even like a standstill clear water) to be a cleanser and also to get cleansed and reach an ocean to be in peace forever.

With Best wishes It's TVR..

Recollecting the childhood

One of the bloggers whose blogs I regularly follow had written about her childhood which made me recollect my childhood memories. Sometimes when heart is filled with frustrations in the morning itself because of so many thoughts and actions of others such memories bring back the smile on my face.

Yes we had such a good time in our childhood.  I and my friends in the street would play on the streets in the evenings after our schools. We used to come back, pray to God and then study (though reluctantly), or rather do homework for the day.

Sundays (there was no concept of weekends that time) also filled with complete outdoor games near the temple. During night with indoor games (some of which are becoming extinct now).

Go to grandma’s place in summer holidays and enjoy all the privileges and also a whole lot of affection from grandparents.

Do not bother about exams/tests until they are near.

Have fun with cousins in family functions.

All these and at the same time having known the value of all the materialistic things we had. We used to get new clothes only for festivals.  So used to enjoy festivals with ‘new’ clothes and special food. Never used to have even Rs.5 in our pockets until we were in our graduation. There was no need of it either.

To get a bicycle in my high school day was a very big thing for me. I roamed around in my town streets with my new bicycle for the whole day. I still remember that day because I had got it after I was demanding it for rather 2 yrs.

Those were the days of fun also filled with learning’s of life. But we were contended with whatever we had in our small world.

We struggled so hard to get the things we have now. But are we really happy at the end of the day? There is always more for everything. There is no end to the needs.

So better to recollect childhood and be happy with the memories of it alone at-least for a day.

Female factor

Today morning while having breakfast I happen to read a news in newspaper which made me feel down for the day. Some people in northern states of India kill girl babies as soon as they are born by suffocating them by pillows or by putting jiggery balls in the mouth of the girl babies so that they choke and they die. It was heartening to come to know about such news in the morning and I was heavy hearted when I was walking to my office. My heart really poured for those kids, what was wrong with those new babies for not to live a life in this world.

Wikipedia lists a recent report by the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) up to 50 million girls and women are missing in India's population as a result of systematic sex discrimination. The issue of female infanticide is  a big problem in India than in any other country. In rest of the world, sex of the child is disclosed before the delivery itself. In India I wonder that kind of culture can come into place in the near future given the obsession the society has for baby boys. Not only men, but even women (both educated and illiterate) in India want to have baby boys.  The worst situation is when these abortions are carried out well beyond the safe period of 12 weeks endangering the women’s life.

I saw some reports on this problem in the internet and one such analysis can be found at : http://www.sascv.org/ijcjs/snehlata.pdf

In rural India the female infanticide is very high and I would completely blame the society for this social problem. The system in the society is so tightly coupled for rules for women, some people cannot afford to lead a life in such a system and they take such extreme steps.

Few points I have listed which are the fueling factors as per my understanding starting from 1 to  5 with 1 being the highest.

1.      Girls have to go to someone else’s house after bringing them up, educating them and loving them and carry their names. J

2.      Girls cannot take care of their parents in their old age and perform rituals of after death.

3.      The expenses of marriage is high and in many states and castes the problem of dowry is well prevailing and the cost of dowry will be usually the complete earnings of life of her parents (Sometimes even selling off their properties).

4.      Girls do not carry forward the legacy of their families and the family names.

5.      Girls are having problems driven by nature for the cause of reproduction which they have to go through throughout their lives and bear the pains of labors.

There could be many other valid and serious reasons still. But what I could derive from the news and the way the system in society works.

I do not want to debate much on the issues of family names, legacy, taking care of parents and all that. Nobody remembers my name after my 2^nd generation. At most my grandchildren may remember my name because I do not remember my great grand parents’ names!. Finally what is in a name? And why one has to change their birth names and why cannot men also change when society asks women to change their names? It’s out of love and affection you want your spouse’s name with yours and not by force.

Taking care of parents should be left to girls/boys conscience. It’s their duty and love which should drive them to do that. No excuses based on gender.
Everyone knows that dowry system is also a big social issue and no rational thinking person agrees with such a system.

When a man wants a woman for giving birth to him and a girl to get married, at-least two women are needed there itself. But if he does not want a daughter then he is denying two people in another man’s life. A woman is needed as mother and wife, why not as a daughter?  Statistics show that there are 914 women for every 1000 men in India. A big gap in the gender count.

I am not a revolutionist to bring a change in society or an influential person to change the system. But I definitely want some of my blog readers to give thoughts on this issue and spread awareness.

Signing off for now,

Ranjani

Relational thinking

It has been a while since I blogged. Many thoughts crossed my mind which could have been blogged
but could not put the feeling/thoughts in words. Today my mind is running too much about relationships and peoples’ thoughts.

People are bonded in this world because of relationships with their loving ones and for some obvious reasons with not so loving ones.  Loving ones by nature are parents, spouse, kids, siblings or sometimes some friends too. The human relationships are complex to understand as the time passes by in one’s life. The equations with ones’ loved ones keep changing with respect to situation/emotional bonding/geographical placements/connectivity etc..
By birth we will be in love with our parents and as we grow up we choose to love a person and marry or rather live-with that person. After kids, they mean the world to us. Siblings will part ways at some point in the middle once they choose their path of life of their own and on their own. But as we grow mature (I do not say as we grow old because by growing old alone we may not be mature enough) our view towards life and towards the relationships vary and may become broadened and we start accepting all kinds of people with different kinds of nature.

People irritate us or hurt us at home, at office, at public places etc. by their words or actions. Initial days we will be cribbing about everything but as we grow day by day we start accepting people and situations as they are. Instead of reacting we start acting. (I do not say all will do that). One must make sincere attempts to do that. Because we cannot change the system or people around us. We can only try to make a change to ourselves to handle situations or people.  It’s not so easy as said or written. Our in-built and by –birth qualities are so much embedded to accept or react to people who are very much different from us. In-fact our own parents will be very much different from us.  We just think we are perfect in every sense but that may not be true for all others out there in the world like how we feel about others.

One fact is definitely true and that is everyone will hurt us some or the other way. We have to first love ourselves as we are and not do de-motivate ourselves as a bad person based on some triggered situations in our lives.  This is the way we are and people may or may not accept us for the kind of persons we are.  For people who love you, we need not convince that what kind of person we are because they already love you and believe you. For people who do not love/like us, for them also we need not convince about us because anyway they will not love us or believe us.

So love yourselves and be happy. It’s your soul which comes along with you forever even in life and after life. Leave rest of the things to God. He will take care of everything.

So no need of worrying about relations problems when one is with himself/herself completely.

To be in solitude for sometime,

Ranjani for myself J

Being Rich

Rich in this world always means wealthy by money. Being rich is something which rich people are too much proud about and want to show off their clothes, jewellery etc.  Since childhood our concept of rich has always been people who have assistants at home and who dress up with hi-fi clothes and who do lot of makeup. Some people are rich by birth, by inheritance or by luck. But there are some people whom people call rich just because they have few amount hard earned by them. In India nowadays even if people are having little hard earned money also, its looked like sin. Why is it so? All these software engineers who are called rich, are they really rich? They lack time for family, for their entertainment, vacations or they  even lack time for sleep. Why do not people look at their day-to-day struggling aspects rather than simply looking at the money they have earned?

Some people will be rich, but people cannot make out that they are rich. They all will have money hidden in their bank accounts and no one will be aware of it. Because they do not disclose that to anyone even to their own kids or siblings fearing that they would snatch it away. For some people how much ever money they have, it will not at all be sufficient for them to tell others or feel themselves that they have enough money to be called as rich. Its their fate of life and no one can help them.

As per me being rich means rich in knowledge, wisdom, grace, love, care, empathy and service. It’s not only the wealth of money that people have should be looked upon or commented by others. The richness of human qualities should be adored and respected which increases their respect as well as recognizing person’s image.

What is the use of money and being rich from it when someone is dying in the hospital with pain and you do not spend on them?

What is the use of money and being rich from it when someone is suffering from hunger and you do not feed them?

What is the use of money and being rich from it when someone has become bankrupt for some good reason and is dying with debts and you do not help them?

What is the use of money and being rich from it when kids want to study and you do not provide any books to them?

What is the use of money and being rich from it when you do not provide clothes to a person suffering from cold?

Ultimately, without money one cannot buy anything. At the same time with money, everything cannot be bought.

Movie craze

Movies are one of the greatest entertainment means of mankind. Undoubtedly, movies give full-fledged entertainment for the masses and sometimes classes. I used to watch many movies when I was in school and colleges. Many times late night movies, the award winning movies on Sundays on TV. They all used to give a lot of happiness and refreshment. I used to enjoy both commercial and off-beat cinemas equally. When you want to know the reality, one must watch off-beat cinemas. If one needs only wholesome entertainment, then the commercial movies had to be watched. In Kannada I was always up-to-date with the movie information. Have watched starting from black and white movies to the recent movies in theatres. The craze for Kannada movies is in my birth I guess! In Hindi I used to watch whichever popular movies (Even very old ones) because of the craze for Hindi movies my parents had. I hardly used to watch English movies. But after marrying Sunil, the window for Hollywood movies opened for me and I find that world too is equally amusing. Today I watch all kinds of movies (Except fiction which I always disliked). I can connect to all movie goers, the maximum likeminded population in the world.

Watching movies in theatres is always pleasurable. Watching on TV definitely does not give the same kind of entertainment or pleasure. Watching some of the movies with masses gives wholesome entertainment when people start whistling once the popular actor/actress comes on screen. It seems when I was in theatre I used to be dancing on my seat when Rajkumar used to come on screen. I had always been a great fan of him. I myself cannot count the times I have watched some of his popular movies. One such movie is ‘Hosabelaku’. A simple love story and also told in a very simple way. All the songs, scenes are very much memorable for me. I feel such kind of movies which are simple yet appealing without any vulgarity are not at all coming these days to go and watch.

When people tell about other actors in other languages I used to wonder are they as good as Rajkumar, Anantnag or someone in Kannada. Because we’ll be so much used to them watching them since our childhood. But when I watched accidentally some movies in other languages in which other popular actors are acted, I got equal respect for them. Among them to name a few, I happened to watch a Malayalam movie in which Mohan Lal had acted. His acting was truly touching. Once I and my husband were watching old black and white Hindi movie – ‘Devdas’, in which Dilip Kumar had acted. I was totally impressed by his acting skills and the grace with which he carried the character.

Talent cannot be hidden and those who have become popular are all gifted with such talents. There may be exceptional cases, but most of them would have been gifted with acting skills or even dancing skills these days.

One very good aspect of movies is that it reaches many people, even illiterate people and all ages of people. The message for the society can reach easily through movies. Hence the movie makers should use discretion so that they can be wholesome family movies because kids can also understand the movie media very easily.

These days after work and family, it has become very tough to find time for movies even on TV. But I always miss watching movies which I am planning to restart once again. Once my son starts growing, I look forward to watch movies with him and share the fun (of course should be ready to face his crazy questions obvious to his age)J.

First day at school!

Today during lunch time one of my friends was explaining about leaving her daughter to school for the first time. She sounded little interesting and I listened with excitement thinking about my son’s schooling. It seems the parents of the school kids who joined school for first time had an orientation program. Even though my friend did not elaborate on that, I was wondering what that could be.  Many unknowns about how to do parenting when kids start going to school.

It seems when my friend went to leave her daughter in school, her daughter was crying seeing many new faces and also a new place. It seems the kids were crying and wanting to come out of the room by pushing the doors. I was imagining how the feeling of the viewer will be!  Must be filled with excitement and doubts about how to handle it. It’s really exciting about leaving your kid in school for first time wishing them all the success in their academics. We were discussing that until that point of time kids will be only enjoying being at home and by playing. Now they also have to study, face exams etc… My friend was showing her daughter photo wearing her uniform. The kid was excited about wearing a uniform like how other kids are wearing same kind of dress.  We were discussing how much additional work it will add to parents in these days. If they are given homework then it’s like doing our extra home work.

I and my friend were enquiring her about the quality of the school and how far it is from here. Nowadays people have to start applying for school admissions at-least 1 year prior to schooling?! It’s no longer a walk-in easily like how we used to do in our school days.

I remember my mother used to tell like how she was feeling bad when she left me first day at school because I used to be with her always till that time and she was feeling bad that she had to be away from me.
If not first day at school, I definitely have the memories of last days (of the year) in school. The last day when the last exam got over for that year, that day we just used to run back to our homes with so much joy.  Because we could enjoy our summer/dussera holidays at our homes or in our grandma’s place. And finally the social day when we said goodbye to school. I still remember those days. Also we were too young to remember the first day of our school. But our parents remember it and they will recall just like how my friend explained her experience of her daughter’s first day at school.

Many of our friends’ kids will be joining their schools soon or they would have joined. Along with my son I wish all of them bright academics, enjoyable with memorable days (which anyways they will have) and a great future!

Super Wo(man)

Super man is a fiction character who can do many extraordinary things with ease and help people. He can do many tasks at once. Holding a girl in one hand and fighting an evil character in another one while he is flying!!
I was thinking the urban ladies are doing the same thing. Performing many tasks at once within a span of only 24 hours  - Cooking, baby care, husband care, home work(if maid absent), having a career, facing the competition and then facing the world at home and at office. All this the educationally empowered (I am specific about education only) women are doing.
But at the end of the day, the super woman may not feel like a superman that is without any hurts, body pain, neck pain, depression!  Falling on the bed is one most liked task apart from baby care in the day to day timetable. Because while sleeping she doesn’t have to do any task. That is the only relief.

    But by doing all this is she gaining compared to women of her yesteryear generation. Many of her previous generation women used to be at home.  After sending spouse to work and kids to school/college, they used to take rest, gossip, go to temple, or indulge in whatever hobbies they prefer.
They could enjoy their life to full extent. Only aspect that will be lacking in them may be financial freedom. That too used to be dependent on her spouse, if he were liberal and caring, and then even that could not have been a problem.
By saying this I do not want to say that all such women used to enjoy. But most of them used lead a comfortable life.

The urban educated, career ladies seem like empowered, but are they actually empowered? If they are going to work, many times have to face words like it’s to build their career, financial freedom or it’s just that they prefer to go to office than sit at home. But why do not people differentiate between such women who actually think like that and women who actually doing a super woman job for the sake of their family. They are always treated as people riding on two horses – home and office but not able to do justice at both the places (even though they are doing).
At office too, how many women can be seen at top positions as managers, leads or specialists. Hardly few. It’s because sometimes career would have been compromised for family commitments.

So at both the places it’s not win-win situation. I would call it lose-lose situation.

It’s now time that society recognize efforts of such women and appreciate the work they are doing and value their time and personality rather than imposing legacy values of women on them to be a ‘pativrata’? These women may not be doing things in a legacy way, but they are doing things differently for the sake of family, kids, husband, their family and finally for a better society. Given an opportunity they would have loved to spend their time with their loving kids who are so divine and amusing for them. But will that kind of opportunity ever come for them in this high-cost living society? Many are waiting with their dry eyes open for that!!!

A friend in need is a friend indeed

‘Value friendship for what there is in it,
not for what can be gotten out of it.’

‘One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many;
three are hardly possible.’

‘Difference of opinion was never, with me, a motive of separation from a friend.’

‘A good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness, gathers love.’

‘You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get people interested in you.’

‘A friend in need is a friend indeed.’

The final proverb, I have experience a lot. My friends were there for me when I was in need and I was there for my friends when they wanted me. But over a course of time, friends get their new friends and forget old friends or act at-least that they have forgotten their old ones.  Old friends get hurt a lot and when they have only few friends with whom they can share their feelings or thoughts liberally.
   But in friendship unlike relationship, true friends always wish their friends live happily and peacefully. It should be mutual and the core essence of true friendship. No place for all those negative emotions like feelings of jealous, hatred, competition etc.  in a true friendship  world.

 “It doesn’t hurt much when relations unknowlingly move away from us, but it definitely hurts a lot when they themselves increase their distance from us” – Unknown

One story of a true and trustworthy friendship is of Duryodhana and Karna from Mahabharatha. Their friendship was so strong and intimate that once Duryodhana’s wife Bhanumati and Karna will be playing a game (which in kannada is called ‘pagade’).  Bhanumati gets defeated by Karna in the game and Karna asks the object which they would have had a bet in the game. Bhanumati refuses and Karna in his excitement tries to pull her and her pearl necklace of Bhanumati breaks and get spread everywhere in the room. At this exact time Duryodhana enters room and both Karna and Bhanumati see him in excitement. Without a pinch of doubt about his wife as well as friend, Duryodhana asks Karna whether he should gather all the pearls or even get the necklace done back from those pearls? (To be more precise in Kannada, he asks “Muttanu aarisikodale ella ponisikodale?”).

Since ages, there have been stories of true friendship we have been hearing and we feel blessed when we get friends of our taste, emotions, feelings, behaviours etc. Not all will be blessed by that.

Hope all the friendships gloom despite being in the dark shadow and may all people get their true friends similar to finding their true love. J

Worldly connection!

Since past three days, my mobile SIM was disabled somehow by the service provider. I roamed around for three days to get back the connection working. It was like I just wanted the connection to be up so that all my people could contact me easily. I was wondering if we do not have mobile in this modern world how to live without talking to our loved ones on any day. So much of dependency on this small gadget.
  I was just recollecting the evolution of communication technology in the last 10 years. It’s like mobile numbers have become part of identity of a person. It’s like you think of any person first thing about the contact of the person is about his/her mobile. If one does not possess a mobile we wonder how to contact them even though all the legacy means of communication still exist. But some of the means of communication which we used to use like letters/posts have almost become obsolete. But using mobiles definitely cannot replace the beauty of writing and reading letters. The way one expresses feelings/thoughts in letters cannot happen over mobile.

  On the other hand there are disadvantages of having a mobile too. One cannot get disconnected from people for a while, even if we want to be alone for sometimes. It has become a tracking mechanism of a person ;-).

The biggest advantage is definitely the connectivity which it gives and helps people to be in the place of need in urgency (medical or whatever). My sister lives in Canada and she calls up to my mobile whenever she wants to talk to me and same thing she would have done even if she was in Bangalore. So it’s like you never miss a person very much and world has become smaller and connected in that way!

Ok, now I need to stop writing as I am getting a call on my mobile now.. ;-)

Have a good day,

Going mobile.

Expressions

I am back again inspired to write on the same day!

These days after being a mom for a 1-1/4 year, my son has captivated all my attention to him when i go home or even when away from home. His expressions are priceless and make us speechless.
 Before having a baby, i used to wonder how people take a baby and carry them everywhere, oh so much problems. But now i feel its so much of a blessing to carry a kid and see them enjoy everything because for them everything will be new and fresh experience. That's what ignorance make people to be happy and smiling always. Its like re-living our childhood and those experiences and recollecting what we used to do.

I remember a hindi writer Mahashweta Devi whose poem we had in our 8th std, she was explaining how she was re-living her childhood by seeing her daughter play and playing along with her those funny games and growing up with her once again but this time as a mother.

Still I see how should i be teaching my son his first class room lessons and singing those innocent rhymes about stars, dogs, sheep etc.. Feels like everything is fresh and new in this world even after seeing so much troubles.

God has created kids to rejuvenate us and relive our dreams, rekindle our hopes and establishing strong bonds. He has strong plans in this process of reproduction of living beings and making them live their life with a purpose.

Now I am thinking what will my son do when i go back home today. Those thoughts are good enough to look for the evening.

So signing off for today..
Ranju, the amuser

Inspired writer

Hi everyone,
 As I start writing this blog, I wish you good life to all. I am not a good writer with the kind of creative skills  and mind i have. After seeing my friend write her thoughts/experiences, i am inspired to open up my thoughts and write few lines.
   I have heard some people say to write down our thoughts either in happiness or in sadness. When happy, it will simply increase our happiness and help in re-living the moments :-). When sad, it helps in shedding the feelings somewhere out than shedding those feelings on some people and make them feel sad too.
 So both ways its beneficial and make us become more balanced.
I hope you all enjoy reading it.

Feeling ecstatic about becoming a writer,
Ranjani